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Started by Dweezil, June 28, 2007, 11:46:17 am
Quote from: Dweezil on June 28, 2007, 02:22:36 pmSo, I'm getting the distinct feeling that it has been a might lonesome in here? This site will catch on...just give it a little time. Before you know it, you'll have hundreds of rational thinkers discussing all kinds of things.
QuoteMy story is this...As I mentioned I was raised in a Southern Baptist household. I went to church twice every Sunday, once every Wednesday, and was in the boys choir. I was a good, well-churched young man. I believed, and any questions that I had about the whole God/Jesus/Ghost thing I put at bay. In other words, I told myself to "just have faith".
QuoteI remember that I almost felt MORE guilty leaving church every Sunday than filled with God's love. Hair too long? You're going to hell. Listen to Pink Floyd? You're going to hell. Drink a beer? You're going to hell. Have "impure" thoughts? You're going to hell.
QuoteBasically, just the act of being alive bought you a first class ticket to eternal southbound train of torture. But, I still believed and did the best I could.
QuoteI grew up, met a woman, got married, then convereted to ELCA Lutheran. While it was MUCH more laid back than being a S. Baptist, they still believed the same basic thing...and as I got older, I began to question it more and more. My mother became ill with cancer, and when she was nearing the end of her life and was under the care of a hospice nurse, I started having a LOT of doubts. My mother had always been a good xtian. She had an artificial leg (from the time I was born). This made it difficult for her to get around...so she rarely went to church. However, she made up for that by watching xtian TV programs, and reading xtian material all the time. While she was doped up on morphine, I remember that she would have hallucinations. One would think that after being loyal to God one's whole life, that perhaps He would ease one's suffering when the end was near. Such was not the case. My mother saw demons. She was terrified during her final days. She thought that she was going to hell because she had worn lipstick, and pants (instead of a proper dress). If there were a God, my guess would be that he would've taken much better care of one of his children.
QuoteBut still, I made myself keep the faith. A few years went by...I was very much a part of my church...I was on the council, played guitar every Sunday, ran the sound board...I was at the church ALL the time. I started having some serious doubts that any of the God story was real. It bothered me so much that I called the pastor to come to my home one night so we could talk about my waivering faith. I told him that I didn't feel comfortable sitting in church any longer, but that I still felt close to "god" when I was alone in the woods, or on the water. He understood and told me not to worry...that church was only a building. That helped a little bit, but it didn't really answer some of my deeper doubts.
QuoteFinally, one day I just came to the conclusion that it (religion) was a waste of time. It was unhealthy, counterproductive, and a lie. I started reading books by Dawkins, Harris, Sagan, etc. and began to really become fascinated with our earth and the endless universe in which it floats. The thought of a god or of any religion soon became a very silly concept to me. So, here I am. Fascinated with our world, our universe, people, and life. I am trying to enjoy THIS life as much as I can, trying to touch as many people as I can because this is IT and I figure that I have spent a large portion of my life thinking that there was going to be something better...something more after I kick. But that just simply isn't going to happen. When I kick, the lights will go out and I'll be no more...just as I was before I was born.
QuoteNothing to be afraid of...but it encourages me to love my neighbor with a little more gusto than I may have been doing before. I dunno. I'm just glad that I no longer worry about going to hell or heaven or doing what's right in "god's eyes". I do what's right according to what I feel in my heart and my mind. I hope that more people come to this conclusion before we annihilate one another in the name of our gods. Why can't people dispose of their stupid man-written holy books and replace them with the simple words "love one another"? It should be that simple. Oh well...we bipeds are a curious lot. Now, if I could just get my wife to come around...
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